Eridge Valley Cowboy

...and that was four faults for David Bwoome and now Her Woyal
Highness, Pwincess Anne widing "What a cock-up".

Well I wanna be a countwy boy,
I wanna lay me dine,
Away fwom the city's toil and stwife,
With just a few thysand pynds
And a copy of the "Horse and Hynd",
That's all I need to lead the simple life.

..wonderful clear rynde, Susan..

Well, my ma and pa they taught me,
When I was abite knee high,
To do the best things most pwofessionally
They taught me hye to ride a horse,
Hye to handle a sherry glass,
Cos a countwy squire is what you're gonna be, my son,
Yes, a countwy squire is what you're gonna be.

And I wanna be a countwy boy,

..oh, sh'e got a bwick out of the wall..

Now, I got my wife fwom countwy life,
On the glossy side,
With a plum in her mythe and a skin like porcelain,
I got no chin I got no bwain
But I'm a mighty, mighty man,
With a four legg-ed fwiend and a double bawwelled name,
With a four legg-ed fwiend and a double bawwelled name.

And I wanna be a countwy boy,

Now that fox I'm chasing after
He just sits there dying of laughter,
And thinks that I'm acting mighty stwange
Well, I look such a pwatt in my silly little hat,
Just a big, fat lonesome cowboy on the wa-eenge,
Just a big, fat lonesome cowboy on the wange.

Well I wanna be a countwy boy,

..and here comes her Her Royal Highness now, beautifully poised,
beautifully balanced, up to the water jump....OH GAWD, SHE'S
COME RIGHT AWF! ..the horse made a terrible mistake there.

Now, I love to be seen on that good old putting gween,
Talking to a banker fwom the tyne,
He's gonna fetch me pwonto a stockbwoker called Tonto,
And I know he's never gonna let me dine,
No, I know he's never gonna let me dine..

And I wanna be a countwy boy,

...NAFF AWF!!