1. |
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Offa
1.King Offa he built a dyke
From the Mersey down to the Wye
80 mile long and 12 foot across
With a bank that was 20 foot high
it was high
A bank that was 20 foot high
From the Mersey down to the Thames
From the borders across to the Fens
Wessex and Sussex were under his rule
And a bit later on he took Kent, yes he did
And a bit later on ‘e took Kent.
Oh, he were the King a wonderful King,
And ‘is bloody great dyke was a wonderful thing!
2.At Tamworth he built a great hall
Though he didn’t stay there much at all
He hunted in Gumley in Croft and Great Glen
Put a bloody great lodge in em all, yes ‘e did
A bloody great lodge in em all
At foreign affairs he were great,
And Charlemagne he was his mate
With weapons and firs and all manner of wares
They both did a shitload of trade, yes they did,
Both did a shitload of trade
Oh, he were the King a wonderful King,
And ‘is bloody great dyke was a wonderful thing!
3.For 39 years he did reign
As mighty as old Charlemagne
History books say even up to this day
He was greater than Alfred the Great. yes ‘e was
Greater than Alfred the Great
He were buried in holy ground
In a chapel in Bed-i-ford town
But the river it washed the chapel away
To this day it has never been found. no it ain’t
To this day it has never been found.
Oh, he were the King a wonderful King,
And ‘is bloody great dyke was a wonderful thing
4.Historians follow the lead
Trying to find where the chapel had been
Cos swimmers in summer say deep in the water
A sepulchre sometimes is seen, it is seen,
A sepulchre sometimes is seen
So bye bye King Offa bye bye
From the England that you tried to unite
Thanks for the coin and the lands you purloined
But most of all thanks for the dyke, for the dyke
Most of all thanks for the dyke.
He was the King, the Mercian King
Oh what a man, Oh what a King
For 39 years he was KING OF THE REALM
Invaded the south, he battered the Welsh
He ruled the Hwicce, the Maginsosete
Developed a mint and minted the penny
Remember it all, this wonderful stuff,
But Oh goodness me if that weren’t enough
He build Offa’s dyke so long and so broad
And that’s the main thing we remember him for.
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2. |
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I’ll be Leaving Shortly
1.My name is Ivo de Grandmesnil
Ivo the Ropedancer is the name that I bear
With a shrug of the shoulders in true Gallic style
I’ll slide down that rope and bid you adieu
2.My father e came over with William the Bastard
And in lands and possessions got is recompense
Together with all those other Norman Bastards
To coin a phrase if you’ll excuse my French.
In these fortifications I ‘ave every confidence
And we’ve all been blessed by his Highness the Pope
But I’ve just remembered an important engagement
So I’ve got to go shortly and slide down that rope
La, la ,la...
3.I kept my nose clean under William the Red
But when e met hees end I backed the wrong ‘orse
You could just say it was an error of judgement
With Robert the Shortarse I plotted a course.
4.Now Robert e said “I’ll be right there behind you”,
We’re in this together I’m a man of my word but
Bought off by King Henry he sailed back to Normandy,
Left me up tyo ze neck in a big heap of merde
In these fortifications I ‘ave every confidence
And we’ve all been blessed by his Highness the Pope
But I’ve just remembered an important engagement
So I’ve got to go shortly and slide down that rope
La, la, ,la...
5. And so to avoid the wrath of King Henry,
I went off the the Holy Land armed with great zeal,
But at the siege of Antioch I blew it big time,
Alas for Ivo de Granmesnil
6. And so adieu to my lands and companions,
To Sir Roger de Courcy who likes his nooky bear,
Although he didn’t live till a hundred years later,
He’s funny so decided to stick ‘im in here.
In these fortifications I ‘ave every confidence
And we’ve all been blessed by his Highness the Pope
But I’ve just remembered an important engagement
So I’ve got to go shortly and slide down that rope
J’ai tout confiance en ces fortifications,
Nos avons tous ete bene par le Pape , mais alors
Je viens de me rappeler que j’ai un rendezvous important
Ainsi j’ai besoin d’;aller glisser dur cette corde.
La, la, la...(x2)
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3. |
The Grey Sisters
03:35
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The Grey Sisters
First there was Lady Jane
For nine days she were queen
They took her life away
And her Ubby Duddle-ee
Then there was Enery
Head of the family
He tried to run away
Now he’s in the cemetery
Chorus:-
Don’t mess with monarchy
You’ll end up in A and E
They’ll rearrange you bodily
Bang you in a nunnery
Fol der iddle iddle di do
Fol der iddle iddle di do
Fol der iddle iddle di do
Fol der iddle iddle day
Then there was Catherine,
Great grandchild to the King
She marries Eddaward
She cannot be with him
So they put her away
Down in the tower to stay
Bu Ed got is his end away
She’s in the family way
Chorus
Poor little Mary Grey
She was a dwarf they say
She married Thomas Keyes
Though he was six foot three
He was of low degree
So this could never be
There was no wedded bliss
Liz was not avin this
Chorus
Oh that poor family
Ruled by the monarchy
Treated so bad-el –y
Oh what a tragedy
Banged up in custody,
(Or lost their ‘eds orribly
All for the sake of Tudor geneolgy.
Chorus x 2
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4. |
Hogue Hall (John Cook)
04:12
|
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John Cook
Chorus
Ogg ‘all, Ogg’all
I lived at at old Ogg ‘all
At Burbage town in Leicestershire
That’s where I were born
Ogg ‘all, Ogg’all
I lived at at old Ogg ‘all
At Burbage town in Leicestershire
That’s where I were born
Ogg all Ogg’all
I lived at Old Ogg ‘all
I saw the plight of the common man
And the rich who ruled it all
Chorus
My father was a poor man
John Cook it was mi name
Somehow I got to Oxford town
To live and learn my trade
I studied hard I studied well
And I rose to high renown
And I prosecuted Charles the First
Helped take away his crown
Chorus
As I read the charges out
At Whitehall in the court
Charles poked me with his walking stick
To every charge I brought
To tyrant, traitor, murderer
He poked me with his stick
The pommel fell and he were forced
To crawl and pick it up.
Chorus
I told him if he didn’t plead
Guilty would be brought
And if he pleaded that would mean
He recognised the court.
Twixt the devil and the deep
He still withheld his breath
So the court then found him guilty
And sentenced him to death
Chorus
To the scaffold Charles was led away
There to face the axe
And a glorious thing it was for me
To see him so dispatched
But Charles the Second was returned
Twenty years gone buy
And all of us who signed that deed
Accused of regicide
Chorus
All the years that we had fought
To oust the monarchy
To bring to this our nation
A fair democracy
All the poor and suffering who fought that civil war
All gone down the pan
As Charles the Second is restored
Chorus
And now the bastards come for me
To eke out their revenge
Put me on the scaffold
Hang me by the neck
And let me down and chop me up
Slit me through the gut
To show the world what happens
If you rail against your lot.
Chorus x 2
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5. |
In 1741 (G.F.Handel)
04:15
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1741
In 17 hundred and 41,
Handel went to Shackerstone
He took the coach to Birmingham
Another one on to Leamington
Then Bosworth, Billesdon and Botcheston
In 17 hundred and 41
Chorus
He brought his mates
He brought his kin
An orchestra to play with him
Cellos Flutes and Violins
And his peddly weddly org-eon
Peddly weddly.....
In 17 hundred and 41
Handel stayed at Shackerstone
He stayed with Charlie Jennessen
A very formidable gentleman
He put him up at the Rising Sun
In 17 hundred and 41
Chorus
In 17 hundred and 41
Jennesen said to George “come on
I’ve got a temple in the glade
Where you could play our heart away
It could really turn you on
In 17 hundred and 41
Chorus
In 17 hundred and 41
For 3 weeks he stayed all alone
He took his paper and his pen
And his peddly weddly or –ge-on
To write his masterpieces on.
In 17 hundred and 41
Chorus
In 17 hundred and 41
He come back to Shackerstone
It had really turned him on
His masterpiece was nearly done
It became a number one
In 17 hundred and 41
Chorus
In 17 hundred and 59
In the year that Handel died
The Messiah it was played
At Langton church upon the stage
They all had a lovely time
In 17 hundred and fifty nine
He brought his mates
He brought his kin
An orchestra to play with him
Cellos Flutes and Violins
And his peddly weddly org-eon
Peddly weddly.weddly weddlypeddly weddy or-ge-on...
His peddly weddly.weddly weddly peddly weddy or-ge-on...
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6. |
Susannah's Footsteps
05:32
|
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Susanna’s Footsteps
1.From the clock tower cast an eye
As for a moment time stands still,
Behold McDonalds and Sports Direct
R ound that place they called Coal Hill.
2.Down Belgrave Gate I passed Betfred,
Past the Poundland made my way,
To where the barges brought their loads
Iron and coal and stone and slate
When I think of all those changes,
Passing through those tunnels of time,
Focus on the span of history
That the mirror shows behind,
Walking in Susanna’s footsteps
Seeing through Susanna’s eyes,
3. All along the sacred way,
Where the parade at Whitsuntide,
Bears the marks of desolation.
Stain the pages of our guide
4. In Parchment Lane stands Burger King
To High Street where once towered the Lord’s Place,
Opposite the cafe Nero,
Vanished now without a trace.
When I think of all those changes,
Passing through those tunnels of time,
Focus on the span of history
That the mirror shows behind,
Walking in Susanna’s footsteps
Seeing through Susanna’s eyes,
5.I gaze at the wondrous Travelodge.
Where once was sat the Blue Boar Inn
Whose walls took with them many a tale,
That it closely held within
6.All Saint’s now lies dwarfed and hidden
In huge monstrosity lies drowned,
Applegate leads to the Holiday Inn
Upon the heart of the Roman town.
When I think of all those changes,
Passing through those tunnels of time,
Focus on the span of history
That the mirror shows behind,
Walking in Susanna’s footsteps
Seeing through Susanna’s eyes,
7.Susanna took the guise of man
And by her pen she earned her weage,
But forthright said she that henceforth
No human being should be a slave
8.Sounded out the blast of freedom.
An example to all men,
Said there should be no hesitation
As she unsheathed her mighty pen
When I think of all those changes,
Passing through those tunnels of time,
Focus on the span of history
That the mirror shows behind,
Walking in Susanna’s footsteps
Seeing through Susanna’s eyes,
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7. |
John Flower's Lament
05:24
|
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I’ve drawn all these buildings proud as they stood,
Knowing full well they’ll soon be vanished for good,
How I love to wander through these Leicester streets,
Feel the touch of the cobblestones under my feet,
Although from time to time it really gets me down
I’ll be leaving my heart here in this old town.
1. With an all seeing eye and pencils so fine,
I’ll capture every shadow and each single line,
Though it stinks to high heaven throughout both sun and rain,
There’s a beauty to be found as you walk through these lanes.
I’ve drawn all these buildings proud as they stood,
2. Things that we take for granted can be gone in a breath
As the onset of progress brings a dark kiss of death,
And the black tide of ugliness slither and creeps,
To the soul of the town as it silently sleeps.
I’ve drawn all these buildings proud as they stood,
3. But now I grow old and it fills my heart with pain.
So much can be lost for so little truly gained
This glorious rambling shambles in the picture I’ll portray
For fond recollections before they’re swept away.
I’ve drawn all these buildings proud as they stood,
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8. |
James Cook
03:24
|
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1. Now James Cook did murder most foul we know,
To avoid paying the money he owed,
Though he claimed it was done in self defence
He had to get rid of the evidence.
2. Sliced up the body into bits,
In a vain attempt to get rid of it,
Worked through the night and did conspire
To burn the body in the fire,
Take the thing away, take the thing away,
We don’t want it here in Saffron Lane
Don’t care how many years it’s stood,
It’s lowering the tone of the neighbourhood
Dripping all that flesh and blood,
I’m sure there’s somewhere they can find,
Out of sight and out of mind
Don’t want it here spoiling the view,
After all this is 1832.
3. For 3 nights he worked at his grisly deed,
But underestimated the time he’d need,
Acting all like butter won’t melt,
But soon the neighbours a rat they smelt
4, Horseflesh he said is making the smell,
Went to see a bloke with a dog to sell,
To feed the dog I bought the meat
But in the end I got cold feet.
Take the thing away, take the thing away,
We don’t want it here in Saffron Lane
5.We all know he so nearly got away
Took a coach, for a ship to Americay
But Officer Cummins was quick off the mark
Caught up with him as he was about to embark
6. Now we all loved the hanging without a doubt,
6. Now we all loved the hanging, of that there’s not a doubt,
We took all the kids, they had a great day out,
But as for the gibbeting, we’re really not so sure
Don’t do it here, do it elsewhere.
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9. |
Tanky Smith
03:37
|
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Tanky Smith
1.Well, our Tanky was a canny lad ‘e were full of wild surprises
He’d ‘ave them villains from their lairs
With his myriad disguises
As a bishop or as a quaker, as a jockey or a cook,
He’d get the local lowdown on them villains and them crooks.
2. If a villain was out upon the run or gone deep into hiding
You could guarantee our Tanky Smith
Would be the first to find him
Deep in the depths of Derbyshire or way down in Devizes,
He’d flush ‘em out and get ‘em to the next county assizes.
Chorus:-
Tanky, Tanky, he were lean and lanky,
He were a copper what could spot
A bit of hanky panky
3. And when he weren’t out catching crooks he’d sometimes have a mind
To trip across the sea a missing person for to find
To seek out James Winstanley, he got an urgent call,
The ‘igh Sheriff of the County,
What lived ain Braunstone Hall.
4. By using all them little grey cells, he set out on the trail,
What led him into Deutschland where he ‘eard of a sad tale,
The tragic truth he came upon and very quickly found,
A body from the river pulled proved poor old James was drowned.
Chorus
5. In a house on London Road was where our Tanky lived,
His son wanted to leave something in memory of ‘im,
So when he died he copied the disguises that he’d used,
And stuck ‘em up as gargoyles on the front of Tanky’s mews.
6. And there on Top ‘At Terrace, you can see ‘em to this day,
In 16 gargoyles carved in stone, Tanky is displayed,
The ‘eds of bishops, cooks and quakers all in hats and wigs,
A rather fitting tribute to old Francis Tanky Smith.
Chorus x 2
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10. |
Muggy Measures
02:52
|
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Muggy Measures
Muggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggy-mug
1.I stand on Cheapside every day,
Sells me muffins ‘ot,
The people gather round me,
And see what I ‘ave got.
I gets me bell out of me coat,
And then I starts to ring,
The children gather round me,
And they begins to sing
Ave you seen the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man
‘Ave you seen the muffin man that lives in Loseby Lane?
Yes, I’ve seen the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man,
Yes, I’ve seen the muffin man, Muggy Measures if his name.
2. People always ask me,
Where I gets me wares
I tell ‘em that I gets ‘em from a shop in Russell Square,
I carries them up Wharf Street,
Belgrave Gate as well,
And when I gets to the old Clock Tower
It’s there I rings me bell.
Ave you seen the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man...
Muggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggy-mug
Hot mince pies, sausage surprise,
Minted peas, muffins if you please.
3.And when the coppers see me,
They always say ‘allo’ (allo, allo)
They never try to chase me off,
Or tell me for to go,
It’s because they love their muffins,
I always gives them one,
They’re the best muffins in Leicester
And in the whole kingdom.
Ave you seen the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man...
Muggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggymuggy-mug
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11. |
Tom Barclay
03:37
|
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The Ballad of Tom Barclay
Down in the dark in Abbey Street
That was where I first found my feet,
Life was nought but a bag of bones
Dodging all those sticks and stones
Cap in hand and hand to mouth
Waiting for the day when the money ran out
Trying to learn the rules of the game
Tom Barclay is my name
1.When first I came into this town
From across the Irish Sea,
A squalid hovel for a home
Was my first memory
From starvation put to flight
No choice but emigration
But we found no welcome here
Among this English nation.
Down in the dark in Abbey Street
2.Hounded by the Sassenach kids
Many a battle we did fight
Mother took comfort in devotion
Dad came home drunk on a Friday night
Early on I did decide
That I would learn to read and write
And soon me eyes were opened wide
As I began to see the light..
Down in the dark in Abbey Street
3. I threw myself into finding out
Improving things for the working class,
Though down at the free and easy,
It’s oh so easy to just down a glass
Things they never will get better
If you just give in to that call,
Joined the Labour Party
To fight for a better life for all
|
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12. |
||||
Heaven's Gate
The journey of your life I read ,
Across the continents of mind,
Around the footsteps where I tread,
Oil, wood and canvas of your time,
Through life dismembered, disarrayed,
You held a light that cannot fade..
Hands in Prayer, Edelweiss,
Desolation, Sacrifice,
The child that in the cradle lies,
Unshield the sword and pay the price,
As crucified by church and state,
We all line up at Heaven's gate.
And all through many a darkest day,
In wilderness dark shadows move,
Uncertain enemies and friends,
Fear with long knives and twisted truth,
Though faith betrayed, honour abused,
The devil's silver you refused.
Hands in Prayer, Edelweiss,
Desolation, Sacrifice,
The child that in the cradle lies,
Unshield the sword and pay the price,
As crucified by church and state,
We all line up at Heaven's gate
And so at last your rest you found,
In dappled light of twilight shade,
AS tyrants come and Empires fall,
Your story will fill many a page,
Yet few of us could say for true,
We've lived but half a life as you.
Hands in Prayer, Edelweiss,
Desolation, Sacrifice,
The child that in the cradle lies,
Unshield the sword and pay the price,
As crucified by church and state,
We all line up at Heaven's gate
As crucified by church and state,
We all line up at Heaven's gate
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13. |
Clean Break
05:02
|
|||
Never Got that Clean Break –capo 3 -key Gminor
1. I’ll (Em) tell you a story bout a man called Larry Gains
Who made his way into the (B7)hall of (Em)fame;
Started out washing dishes to try to get by
Or down with the young bucks (B7)rolling the(Em) dice.
2. Running(Am) bootleg from Toronto to Chicago(Em) town,
On the midnight trains where the(B7) deals go (Em)down,
(Am)Met Jack Johnson of whom everybody’s(Em) heard,
Proud to shake the hand that (B7)shook the world.
(G)He was chasing the(D) impossible dream.
The (Am)big chances passed him by or(Em) so it seems
The (G)championship of the (D)world he’d never win
It(C)all came down to the(B7) colour of his skin,
(Em)Blame it all on preju(G)dice, fear and (B7)ate,
He(C) never got to (B7)get that clean (Em)reak
3. Found out to survive you had to live on your wits
Learned how to fight, how to box with his fists
Down in the ring trading blow for blow,
Heavyweight champion of Ontario.
4. On that slow boat to England he came across the sea,
Fighting in Paris, fighting in Germany
Til them good folks of Leicester welcomed him home
Won himself the Empire Title down the Welford Road.
He was chasing the impossible dream.
5, Drank a carafe of wine with Hemingway,
Paul Robeson, Colman Hawkins, Cab Calloway;
Played chemin de fer with princes and sheikhs
But pride and politics meant he just didn’t get the breaks.
5. Now evening is the very best time of the day,
For an old fighter to think of the ones that got away
All through that Indian summer, you’d still hear it spoke,,
Of the day he beat Carnera, the great whitehope
|
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14. |
||||
The Sharpest Knife
G/D
You (G)did it all the hard way, nothing (D)handed on a plate
You(C) fought up every step of the ladder, (G)thankful for every (D) twist of fate.
(G) Working for the daily bread, with(D) football as your weekend prize,
Your (C)home town said you ‘d never make it, (G)no way for a lad of your (D) size.
(C) Forged out of Sheffield (G)Steel, delta winged in (D) flight,
We (G)thank our (Am)lucky Bm) stars for that(C) day (G)that you brought us the (C)sharpest (G)knife.
For(G) Fleetwood Town you made your mark, as (D) fast the goals began to flow,
(C)Helped they team to win promotion, (G) got you in the shop (D) window,
Then (G) Leicester City took a gamble, (D)paid a million threw the dice
(C)Many were the eyebrows raised, was(G) this a banger or (D) Rolls Royce?
(C) Forged out of Sheffield (G)Steel, delta winged in (D) flight,
We (G)thank our (Am)lucky Bm) stars for that(C) day (G)that you brought us the (C)sharpest (G)knife.
But (G) soon that edge it seemed so blunted, (D) confidence was all you lacked,
(C)Then you lit that blue touch paper, (G) then there was no(D) looking back
That (G)knife it sliced through all defences, that (D) great escape, a mountain climbed
The(C) keenest blade in the division, (G)hey everyone it’s (D) party time!
(C) Forged out of Sheffield (G)Steel, delta winged in (D) flight,
We (G)thank our (Am)lucky Bm) stars for that(C) day (G)that you brought us the (C)sharpest (G)knife.
(G)Nothing in the world could stop that train that (D)built up a full head of steam
(C)But no hint of prima donna, (G) all for loyalty (D) to the team
So (G)you’d done it all the hard way, in your (D)stride you took it all
And(C) proudly wore your country’s flag, the(G) day that England made the (D) call
(C) Forged out of Sheffield (G)Steel, delta winged in (D) flight,
We (G)thank our (Am)lucky Bm) stars for that(C) day (G)that you brought us the (C)sharpest (G)knife.
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Dave Taylor Leicester, UK
I write both serious and comedy songs. 6 solo CDs to date and collaborations with Steve Cartwright -"Legends of Leicester/Leicestershire". "All at Sea" shantyish album. Folk based for the most part - when people ask where the ideas come from I can say with honesty -"not drugs!!".. Currently working on a new album "Aspects of Lurve" hopefully out later in 2024. ... more
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