Roly Poly Army

Down at the leisure centre
It’s just an ordinary day
20 rather large ladies waddle onto the floor
As the music begins to play
Leotards stretched to their elastic limit
Where they’ve rather over-indulged
There’ll make more wind than the Welsh Assembly
As they fight the battle of the bulge

Singing.. We are the roly-poly army
Chasing the great lost cause
We’re gonna knock the world off its axis
As we bounce up and down on the floor
We tell ourselves it’s not our fault
We got in the state we’re in
‘Cos after all we’re just victims
“Cos we hardly eat a thing”.

Once we were graceful and sylph-like
But that’s a distant memory
As over the years we became built for comfort
Like jellyfish in the sea
Now our bums fill up three bus seats
We can block a supermarket aisle
Somewhere our will power just flew out of the window
And waved goodbye with a smile

Singing..

Does someone pump us up in the morning
Or does nature abhor empty space
In a nation that suffers from over-inflation
We are dead heats in a Zeppelin race
Last week we all put on two pounds
Any more and the scales will be busting
Now we’re as broad as we’re long,
The scales have got to be wrong
They probably need adjusting

Singing..