(If Only I'd Worn my (White Boots)

Well, I (D)practised hard for hours in the (A)mirror,
(G)Squawking and squealing my (D)heart a(A)way,
I (D)filled in the form for the au(A)dition
And (G)just couldn't wait un(D)til the big(A) day.

I'll be(Bm) headed to the land of ce(F#)lebrity,
(G)Blinking with that vision of (D)stars in my(A) eyes,
Just think of(Bm)all that sand,(G) sea and shopping
(D)Waiting for me when I'd won that (A) prize.

If (G)only I hadn't sung "I(D) Will Survive",
If (G)only I'd stayed in (A)tune,
If (Bm)only I'd worn my(A) white(G) boots,
Then I'm(D) sure I (A)would of got (Bm)through.
If only I'd worn my white boots
I'm sure I would of got through.

I'd even got my sob story all lined up,
Of a childhood of trauma and woe,
My dad would have crawled out of the woodwork
When I got to that final show

My gran would have been blubbering for England,
My mum with her fists in the air,
And all me mates would text in their votes,
And my first single would be played everywhere.

If only I hadn't sung "I Will Survive",
If only I'd stayed in tune,
If only I'd worn my white boots,
Then I'm sure I would of got through.

If only those judges could of recognised real talent
If only they could just of said "yes",
Maybe they were all taking backhanders,
I can't understand why they weren't impressed.

Oh well, it's back to the karaoke night at the pub,
All my dreams have sort of melted away,
I suppose I'll have to regroup,
And who does Simon Cowell think he is anyway?

If only I hadn't sung "I Will Survive",
If only I'd stayed in tune,
If only I'd worn my white boots,
Then I'm sure I would of got through.