When Julia first heard this song she asked "what were you on when you wrote that?" Nothing but Shipstones Bitter and listening to the songs of Roy Harper.
lyrics
Little Wooden Self
Well, I woke up this morning,been drunk the night before,
There was a pain inside my head,
I was feeling bubonic, and totally chronic,as I crawled out of the bed
To where that fat old sun , beating like a drum went hammering
Through my head..
Now, I'm more than a spotty tapeworm life and soul of the friendly
bank,
Who took just two fools and a submission to make him walk the plank
And tossed down to where the vampire sharks will drink his blood
bone dry
And I don't know what I'm going to do,
But I wouldn't change my little wooden self for you.
My TV screen expoldes into starts for the posing, prancing King,
With the canned applause and a thousand encores
To commit the unforgiveable sin,
And then we woke up just in time to soak up the great wet American
dream...
I got cornered in the bar, old cheque card Charlie had no pity on my
ears,
Your professional fights and your tom cat nights are boring me to tears
Like the day you got yourself a ringside seat for the night they
invented champagne,
And I don't know what I'm going to do,
But I wouldn't change my little wooden self for you.
You know you'll come to no harm on your daddy's farm as he meets
you at the station,
With your fiance and your dapple grey you're all ready to sweep the
nation,
But what makes matters worse is you think you're so down to earth..
Just like dynamite Lil, she's found a new pill and she's a heroine, she's
coping
By using her pram as a battering ram on doors she needs to open,
Waiting for a disco lover boy to wash away all of her stains..
But I don't know what I'm going to do,
But I wouldn't change my little wooden self for you.
Lady Love, she died last night, the people mourn and weep,
She took an underdose of civilisation and slowly went to sleep,
And now our God is dead, we lean on a lawyer instead
Now me and my love we've got no time for living in parallel lines,
Queueing for the corn flake countryside and the tall Toyota pines,
We'll just sit and watch that tangerine sun go sinking down the sky,
And wondering why
And I don't know what I'm going to do,
But I wouldn't change my little wooden self for you.
I write both serious and comedy songs. 6 solo CDs to date and collaborations with Steve Cartwright -"Legends of
Leicester/Leicestershire". "All at Sea" shantyish album. Folk based for the most part - when people ask where the ideas come from I can say with honesty -"not drugs!!".. Currently working on a new album "Aspects of Lurve" hopefully out later in 2024....more